Dear Elliott,

On behalf of the Humanists of Greater Portland, let me try to find adequate words to thank you for that insightful, provocative, and compassionate presentation on intimacy.  I don’t know if others were moved nearly to tears as they considered their own relationships in light of what you were saying, but I certainly was.  Your concepts of intention and curiosity reminded me of what the minister of a progressive church told my husband and me as we were preparing to marry: you choose to be married (or not) every single day.  In light of that concept, so many of your points came back to trust, including your definition of intimacy — the teeter-totter of safety vs. vulnerability.  Your guidelines on when and how to offer help, the consideration of the phases a relationship goes through, the options for conflict and problems with language, and more, just kept offering up intriguing ideas.

My guess is that there was a new thought or perspective for everyone. I was a little worried that we wouldn’t get to hear your best ideas if you opened the discussion too early, but you have your ducks in a row. You present things concisely so you can get a lot in and balance the discussion.  I’m sure you could tell how fully engaged the group was.  We very much appreciate your taking your own time to make this presentation and share your expertise.

We are in your debt.

Sincerely,

Joyce Lackie

Program Committee,
Humanists of Greater Portland