This last winter I was fired from a job for the first time in my life. Although I thought of myself as very resilient when it comes to going through difficult situations, I had a really hard time. Many people who have ever been let go would probably understand that it takes a serious toll on your ego. If you have ever experienced being fired, then you probably have experienced such a drop in your self-confidence.
The rejection and humiliation felt when you are asked to leave your job can hurt like a knife, and it can leave internal wounds from the blow to your ego. This pain can sometimes be enhanced when there were close relationships with coworkers and significant time spent with clients. You may even project your being let go with a lack of reciprocated care from coworkers or employers, even when being fired had nothing to do with work relationships. Sometimes the biggest challenge after sustaining this somewhat traumatic experience can be mustering the confidence and courage to try again. It is easy to be afraid when situations such as this take place. You could be afraid of repeating failure. You may be afraid that if you were to fail again, it would mean that you were not good enough, not competent enough, to work in the career field that you desired. You could be afraid that you would look and feel like a failure, and that you would label yourself, or be labeled by others as a failure for not being able to succeed this time around.
I am not going to lie, it took me a long time of wrestling these thoughts before I realized that failure may be something that one experiences, but that it is never who one is; it is never their identity. I believe that this is true of many things. We are not our problems, disorders, disabilities, mistakes, traumas, circumstances, and all the other labels that we often give ourselves or are given by others. Those things may happen to us but they are not who we are. Rather we can learn from those experiences and know who we really are aside from our circumstances, experiences, and labels. The lessons we learn can help us grow into the person we want to be, not as an identity change, but as an improvement to strengthen the weaker areas within one’s identity. It also helps to have people in your life who encourage you and believe in you. Surround yourselves with those people and listen to those uplifting words instead of the negative words and labels.
For help with personal growth or overcoming fear, rejection, failure, and low self-confidence, the clinicians at Insight are positive, encouraging, compassionate, and skilled and would love to support you in your growth!