Beginnings get a lot of attention. Baby’s first word, the first day of school, your first kiss. Making new friends, starting new jobs. New cars, new homes, new pairs of shoes. We love beginnings because they are pregnant with the promise of opportunity and the hope of growth. We tend to approach beginnings with planfulness. We daydream, we prepare, we feel the butterflies of nervous anticipation.
Your friends, colleagues, and spouse are driven by a few core motivations – one of them is control. We humans are programmed to master our environment and this gets tricky when dealing with other humans. Why?
A week ago my front door broke and it was the best thing ever! It reminded me of an important lesson that had slipped through the cracks of the daily hustle of modern life – more about that in a second…
There has been a common theme going in much of the work I have been doing with couples of late. I am hearing folks coming in talking about how their partner responds to them in a way that makes them feel emotionally assaulted. Often, these couples are well intentioned, loving, and looking for connection but for some reason they are having arguments that do not make sense.
The simple truth is that we aren’t designed to be glued to a computer screen or in an office all day. Our brains have evolved to thrive in sunlight, in lush green surroundings, and by the water. Since I think we’ve seen the last of snow in Boston (fingers crossed), it’s time to jumpstart our cognitive batteries and kickoff this spring with a plan to leverage our local resources.
We say “no” all the time. Sometimes we do so subtly, as a way to deny an emotion, swallow our words, or feel the disgust of “Ugh! Not that again!”
I don’t think I’m alone in this. No one likes to feel things which are uncomfortable… especially negative emotions.