So many people come to me overwhelmed with the stress of life, competing responsibilities, losing intimacy and erotic connection due to the complexity of life. Parenting children, work, managing finances, extended family, having a meaningful social life, getting to the gym, and so on and so on and…
As we slide from spring to summer in this scary season of uncertainty, I find myself thinking a lot about Horticultural Time. As a society, we are very used to living by Clock Time: the agreed upon measurements that break up our days, our weeks, our months.
We know this is our third month of social isolation, we know we have to be at that Zoom meeting at 3pm, that on Monday it will be June, and that if we stay up past a certain hour it’ll make tomorrow morning tough. These are all important things to know. These are facts based on Clock Time.
As a writing major in college (with a minor in being an idiot) I Googled many things about grammar, but there was one brain-buster I often went back to: What’s the difference between “affect” and “effect”? Thanks to this Grammar Girl article I finally overcame my idiocy and mastered what I eventually came to understand, is a simple difference .
Recently I was in Boca de Tomatlan, Mexico for a workshop with other clinicians and practitioners of the 4 dimensional approach to sex and intimacy. Every morning, before we would begin our work, we would clear our space. Clearing space involved using sound (a drum, a rattle, etc.), scent (copal, sage, incense, etc), or other approach to sanctify the area we would be learning and growing in to allow us to be present, to remove negative energy and to set a space that invited intention.
There are times when I forget. I forget that I can do something. I forget that I have the power to influence and create change. I forget that I have coping skills. And, when I forget any of these things, I also forget how to find meaning and perspective. I lose myself in the chaos and noise and see my skills begin to erode away. When this happens the most important thing I can do is recenter myself, find my core and listen to the inner voice that guides me. This challenge is often resolved when I find a labyrinth and walk with intention.