As we slide from spring to summer in this scary season of uncertainty, I find myself thinking a lot about Horticultural Time. As a society, we are very used to living by Clock Time: the agreed upon measurements that break up our days, our weeks, our months.
We know this is our third month of social isolation, we know we have to be at that Zoom meeting at 3pm, that on Monday it will be June, and that if we stay up past a certain hour it’ll make tomorrow morning tough. These are all important things to know. These are facts based on Clock Time.
I always say “Come to couples’ therapy when there is something to work on. It is an easier road than when you wait until you are injured and broken and looking for salvation and healing.” One of the gratifying aspects of being a couples and sex therapist is when a couple decides to come see me when they are building their future rather than when they come to me in distress. Premarital therapy is one of those opportunities where both partners are looking to learn more, grow together and find some open curiosity. However, this can also be a time of great stress and challenging relationships.
We say “no” all the time. Sometimes we do so subtly, as a way to deny an emotion, swallow our words, or feel the disgust of “Ugh! Not that again!”
I don’t think I’m alone in this. No one likes to feel things which are uncomfortable… especially negative emotions.
As we are in the throes of holiday preparation, the majority of us are short fused and forgetful. This is definitely due to the amount of holiday shopping, stressed out shoppers & sales reps. Of course, not forgetting the upcoming family drama that you will be involved in or thrown into. As much as we feel cheered by the holiday carols, it definitely is not easy to enjoy it with a peaceful heart. We always wonder if is there a way around this. Maybe there is and maybe there is not. Let’s read on to see if there is a way we can make it feel slightly easier.
Looking around it is plain to see that so many of us out there lead hectic, over-scheduled lives. Twenty-four hours just does not seem sufficient to do everything we need to do in a day. Many of my clients express a desire for an additional hour, or two, or twelve–particularly parents. Having heard about the importance of early childhood experiences and their impact on development and attachments, parents/caregivers worry that the amount of time they spend with their child(ren) won’t be enough.
This week, I’ve been listening to a series of NPR pieces about stress in the lives ofAmericans. I heard about a single mom with diabetes who is struggling to maintain her health; and about a single dad who is struggling to work full time and provide a normal life to his three children; and about a mother of two who had gone back to school to become a teacher and has been unable to find a job now that she has finally finished her degree.