Looking around it is plain to see that so many of us out there lead hectic, over-scheduled lives. Twenty-four hours just does not seem sufficient to do everything we need to do in a day. Many of my clients express a desire for an additional hour, or two, or twelve–particularly parents. Having heard about the importance of early childhood experiences and their impact on development and attachments, parents/caregivers worry that the amount of time they spend with their child(ren) won’t be enough.
When I work with couples, one of the earliest things we do is look at how we communicate. We begin with the basics of starting to look at our words and tone so that we can hear and understand each other. As we get deeper into our process we begin to look at something far more challenging, and potentially more destructive than our words. We begin to look at our assumptions.
The diagnosis of a chronic and/or life-limiting illness in a child can overwhelm a family. While parents are coping with their own grief and fears, they also have much to learn and many decisions to make. One of the biggest challenges they face is how to talk to the child about the illness.
You can’t dig your way out of a hole. Think about it. You are in a hole and you keep digging. What happens? Eventually, the hole gets so deep that you can’t throw the dirt out of the hole anymore and it just keeps falling back down around you. If you start to dig sideways, the integrity of the walls weakens and risks falling in around you. What should you do?
Divorce isn’t easy on anyone. When you are getting divorced with children, trying to minimize the amount of change and disruption can be overwhelming. Nesting is where the children stay in the family home and the parents take turns coming in and out according to the parenting schedule. Think of it as the kids have custody of the parents who come home and then go to the other house! Nesting is not for everyone and is fraught with difficulties, but when the situation works, there are great benefits.
Divorce is never easy on anyone. When you have children, it is even more complex. How you make decisions to navigate the divorce process and ensure your children are as insulated as possible will take special insight and a tremendous amount of personal resiliency.