Often, people in my office get confused about what they are feeling. When asked to name the feeling they are experiencing, they often name one of four buckets of feelings: Glad, Sad, Mad, and Anxious. Every feeling we have gets thrown into one of those four generalized buckets. Then, the same people start to get frustrated when their partners don’t understand the feeling or why they are experiencing it.
Social Thinking is a technique used to teach social skills to kids with social learning disabilities, particularly those on the autism spectrum. In fact, many school systems use this model to teach ALL kids about social construct. Developed by Michelle Garcia Winner, this model teaches students to think about how others perceive them in the world using concrete analogies. For example, check out this video looking at “super-flex thinking” vs “rock brain” thinking. I reference the zones of regulation (one component of Social Thinking) a lot when working on food choice with my clients who are on the autism spectrum. The system allows kids to evaluate how “regulated” they are using visuals; green is optimal.
The flashing lights of the cop car were in the rearview mirror, and I felt a wave of fear wash over me. I had absolutely no idea why I was being pulled over. I tried to ground myself by getting a clear picture of the situation: My body was in a rental car in Texas, my heart was in my throat, my stomach was in a knot, and all of a sudden my mind was with one of my clients.
I talk a big game when it comes to the transformative nature of mindfulness practices. I discuss the benefits of mindfulness with clients, offer demonstrations on techniques, and brainstorm ways to incorporate practices into daily routines. I recognize full well, however, that doing these practices regularly is often easier said than done.
Trust in our relationships is at an all time low. The problem is that in order to build trust, we have to know how to understand one another – we have to be stellar at empathy. I wonder, if you added “empathy” to your LinkedIn skills right now, how many people would endorse you for it? Empathy, especially for men, can be a hard sell.
Relationships are tricky and getting trickier. Trust is built on familiarity http://www.gregmatos.com/empowerment/build-unshakeable-trust, which feeds our need for control and predictability in our relationships. But as our society and relationships become more complex, it’s becoming hard to measure how accurately you know someone – is your sense of familiarity just a ruse? As my clients will tell you, I often bring these complicated relationship questions back