Monogamy is like the color yellow

When I start working with a new couple or individual around relationship concerns I often begin by asking them what their relationship goals are.  Most, but not all, will tell me that they are just looking for a nice, loving, monogamous relationship.  They say that like I am supposed to know what that means — and I don’t.  Not that I am clueless, but rather because I know that there is more than one meaning to the word monogamous. 

Making Connections

You know those times when you are getting frustrated in your relationship because you just aren’t getting your needs met? You keep telling your partner that you want things (sex, communication, warmth, etc.) and feel like your requests are falling on deaf ears?  Frustration creeps in and you start losing stake in the relationship feeling that your connection is more distant and fractured. 

Thermometer vs Thermostat

I have had patient after patient come into my office talking about what a harsh and relentless winter this has been.  I can’t agree more!  It is always interesting to see how people talk about the weather.  There are two classic perspectives that get presented:  How cold it is on the thermometer and how much energy is being used by the thermostat.  What an interesting way to understand ourselves as well!

Digging deep?

You can’t dig your way out of a hole.  Think about it.  You are in a hole and you keep digging.  What happens? Eventually, the hole gets so deep that you can’t throw the dirt out of the hole anymore and it just keeps falling back down around you.  If you start to dig sideways, the integrity of the walls weakens and risks falling in around you. What should you do?

Storytelling

Storytelling is an ancient art. Once upon a time, humans relied on the spoken word to pass down information about origins, about beliefs and cultural identity. Nowadays, we have books, e-readers, podcasts, live theatre, social media, scrapbooking, television, documentaries, newspapers, magazines,  all dedicated to telling stories. Some are “true” and some are “fiction” and most are comprised of a little of both.