Thermometer vs Thermostat

I have had patient after patient come into my office talking about what a harsh and relentless winter this has been.  I can’t agree more!  It is always interesting to see how people talk about the weather.  There are two classic perspectives that get presented:  How cold it is on the thermometer and how much energy is being used by the thermostat.  What an interesting way to understand ourselves as well!

Just grow a pair!

There seems to be a thread in the conversations I have had lately with many of the men I see in my practice.  Our discussions are centering on the institutionalization influences of how masculinity is defined.  We have entered into these talks from a variety of perspectives but we seem to end up circling around the same concerns.  Coming to grip with how men define their own manhood is a pressured and loaded situation.

To Match or not to Match — The ins and outs of online dating

Every day we are faced with the reality of being single, in a relationship, married, divorced, or “it’s complicated.” Relationships as a whole have seemed to become more difficult as the years have progressed. Consequently many questions arise when you meet someone. Is the physical attraction necessary to move forward? Is previous relationship history a good indicator of how he/she treats all relationships? Is career focus a good sign of healthy commitment habits? Can we realistically know all the answers in one, two, three, or ten dates? And do we ever really fully know our partner in a given amount of time? This brings me to my discussion of the ins and outs of on-line dating.

What do I know anyway?

There are many times that I sit with clients who are stuck, living with anxiety, depression or just feel like they don’t know how to move forward. The ongoing narrative in their head tells them a story that keeps them in that place. They tell me that they don’t know what to do and are anxious about change. It is hard in that moment to feel confident and quiet the negativity they feel. We have all been in those moments when we are unsure of ourselves and feel a strong lack of confidence – which makes forward growth seem impossible.