I recently came across a t-shirt being sold on the Internet with the phrase “World’s Okayest Mom” and it gave me a chuckle. After the initial giggles wore off, I gave the phrase more thought. I suppose the intention of such a gift would be to poke a little fun at the recipient. But in considering what it takes for young children to form secure attachments and develop appropriate personal-social skills, and for parents and caregivers to not feel completely and totally stressed out (which all kind of goes together), perhaps “okayest” is a superior adjective over best.
Having compassion even when you are hurt
That is one of the hardest things to do but it’s what it takes to get past a fight. In order to get what you need, or to have a chance at it, you need to be able to hold your spouse in compassion with yourself, while at the same time telling your spouse what your hurts are and asking for what you need.
Monogamy is like the color yellow
When I start working with a new couple or individual around relationship concerns I often begin by asking them what their relationship goals are. Most, but not all, will tell me that they are just looking for a nice, loving, monogamous relationship. They say that like I am supposed to know what that means — and I don’t. Not that I am clueless, but rather because I know that there is more than one meaning to the word monogamous.
On becoming self-authoring
We all go through changes as we move through life. Some of these are minor and not that impacting. For instance, you might gradually stop frequenting places you used to visit or lose touch with casual friends. Other changes are major, such as graduating from college, changing jobs, or beginning and ending serious relationships. Some other changes, however, are not only major in terms of outward effects, but also in terms of how they affect our world view and sense of ourselves. Have you ever experienced a profound change such as this, one that rocks you to the core and causes you to question core beliefs that once seemed certain to you?
The Power of Money
Our economy has somewhat picked up. Financially, most of us might not feel the pinch as bad as it was about 2 years or so ago. Have you ever thought about what is it about money that we have such an attachment to?
Change is growth!
Recently I had been challenged to do something that I never thought I was ever going to do. The goal of this challenge was to help me be more assertive. The task was first proposed to me about 4 months ago and I balked at the idea. Then the time came and I got a little desperate and realized that I didn’t have too many viable choices. The person who challenged me was very nurturing yet firm. He set a specific task (very detailed), had a timeline and a reward attached to each successful step. I took the challenge because what else did I have to loose. I was already in a rut.