I Really Don’t Need Your Help!

So often couples come to see me in great frustration because each partner thinks the other is trying to fix them or control them.  This behavior comes out in a variety of ways… often intended to be helpful or focused on making the relationship better.  However, it often results in anger and disconnect.  Partners report feeling misunderstood and begin to feel justified when their helping ways are questioned.  They say things like “If you would only listen to me…” and “I told you so…” and “Don’t feel that way baby….”

Get Rooted This Fall

Fall is a time of transition.  Transition of season, schedule, daylight and often, mentality.  September marks “back-to-school” for students and for the rest of us, a renewed focus on our work.  From reconnecting with classmates and colleagues to fourth quarter meetings, conferences and trainings, it’s easy to let the busyness of the season get the best of us. These 5 simple strategies may help you stagrounded and enjoying one of the greatest seasons the Northeast has to offer.

Identity Through Social Media

Several months ago, I had the privilege to visit one of my dearest friends in another city. Since we so rarely get to see one another, we tried to take a photo together, and I planned to put it on Facebook and Instagram. It took no fewer than 15 tries to get a good shot. Every time my eyes were open, hers were closed. When both of our eyes were open, I wasn’t smiling. In the next shot, she was distracted by someone to her left. Finally, we were both smiling, with our eyes open, and looking into the camera, but there was a huge group of tourists in the background, blocking the entire landmark we were standing in front of. Finally, we got a halfway decent picture with both of us and the landmark all in the picture.

Please… Don’t Come Out!!!

One of the aspects of my job that I love – probably more than anything else – is when I know I have helped someone to be their very best.  When someone comes to see me because they want to resolve a personal conflict or to find a path forward for a more authentic life, I will often encourage them to envision what life will look like on the other side…when they have done the work and can see a different way of being.  This is often challenging.  Many people can’t see what the other side looks like…they can only see the mire they are in presently.

Parenting with HOPE when things seem HOPELESS

The day before my second son was born I sat in my hospital room, a place I had called home for nearly a week due to strict bed rest orders, and cried because I knew what it meant to have to share my child with the world. Tomorrow he would no longer be just mine. I would no longer be the only one who could feel him move and squirm and kick. I would no longer be the only one who knew him, really knew him. He would be part of the world and the world was a scary place…