An Open Invitation to Live in Horticultural Time

As we slide from spring to summer in this scary season of uncertainty, I find myself thinking a lot about Horticultural Time. As a society, we are very used to living by Clock Time: the agreed upon measurements that break up our days, our weeks, our months.

We know this is our third month of social isolation, we know we have to be at that Zoom meeting at 3pm, that on Monday it will be June, and that if we stay up past a certain hour it’ll make tomorrow morning tough. These are all important things to know. These are facts based on Clock Time.

Wedding Bells and Tears

I always say “Come to couples’ therapy when there is something to work on. It is an easier road than when you wait until you are injured and broken and looking for salvation and healing.” One of the gratifying aspects of being a couples and sex therapist is when a couple decides to come see me when they are building their future rather than when they come to me in distress. Premarital therapy is one of those opportunities where both partners are looking to learn more, grow together and find some open curiosity. However, this can also be a time of great stress and challenging relationships.

Growing Pains

I play many roles in my life.   Partner, father, therapist, teacher, business owner to name a few.  These roles keep me very busy and I often feel the crushing weight of responsibility on me.  Normally I manage it well and focus on meaningful self-care and attachment to positive people (just as I tell my patients to do!).  I am intentional and mindful of what I need to do to ensure that I am meeting the many requirements that are put on me. 

 

Faith Isn’t What You Know. It’s What You Believe.

My faith is a collection of ideas, beliefs, and even sentiments that I believe but don’t know for sure. In fact I can’t know it for sure. That’s why it’s called “faith” and not “knowledge”. I can “know” what the tenets of a faith are, like tenets of Judaism or Christianity, but I can’t really believe them until I come to them, myself, in my practices of faith; that is, in living life and bringing my faith practice into my life.

Coping Skills

As many of us living in Massachusetts know, we have been dumped with a humungous pile of snow that has created issues on the road that has made us feel anxious while getting to places late. It also makes us think about what a waste of time this is to be sitting in traffic watching people not know how to navigate the road when we do this every single year. (This year worst than others in my objective opinion!)  Some of us do not do well being stuck in a confined space for too long and it raises our anger and anxiety. As angry and anxious as we feel, can we take this opportunity to do some self-care and practice staying calm. You have nowhere to go anyway, the triggering stimulus is there, perfect opportunity for in vivo exposure.