Listening is not easy, and we are never taught how to do it well. Learn the strategies of listening to ensure that you are showing up in the ways that are the most meaningful!
How to Advance in The Relationship Game!
Great relationships are based on an exchange of energy and investment. Learn how Social Exchange can help you grow into a relationship centered life…
What is your relationship job description?
We work hard to get the job. We interview as best we can. We get the job. But, how often do we really get a good job description. I am talking about the job of partner, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, husband, wife. More people sit in my office and say things like “S/he is just never happy…no matter what I do!” or “S/he keeps pushing me away and I don’t know why!”
Lessons from the labyrinth
Yesterday I put my own advice into action. I invited a colleague to join me to walk the labyrinth. Really, this is something I should be doing more of as it is an amazing path to mindfulness. When I work folks, we often include some form of meditation, mindfulness or centering to help manage anxiety, fear, stress, discord and just general feeling blah. There are many people who love meditation and find it to be an important part of their mental health. There are just as many who, try as they might, can seem to quiet their minds and bodies to be still. I am one of the latter. Quiet still meditation is hard for me – I can do it from time to time but it seems to take a great effort to get there. I do it whenever I can. However, when time is precious or being still just seems in possible, I try a moving meditation – like walking a labyrinth.
What needs to leave your marriage most
When I work with couples, one of the earliest things we do is look at how we communicate. We begin with the basics of starting to look at our words and tone so that we can hear and understand each other. As we get deeper into our process we begin to look at something far more challenging, and potentially more destructive than our words. We begin to look at our assumptions.
Mistakes
Sometimes we make mistakes and we ruminate: why did I do this, why didn’t I do this, what can I do next time, what I wish I did, and the criticism continues. Guess what, it didn’t get better and chances are you, at least I did, continued to make that same mistake.