Worry: Trouble between parents and teens

I sometimes work with parents who struggle with their children’s behavior, especially teens. These parents are often in regular conflict with their son or daughter, and may complain that their child is ’lazy’, ‘irresponsible’, ‘makes bad choices’, ‘won’t listen to me/us’, ‘just doesn’t get it’, or even ’just  doesn’t care’. When teens take a turn for the scary, parents worry.

Shifting from complaint to request

“If I have to ask for it, then it doesn’t count.”

I think we’ve all had this thought at some point in our relationships, and are familiar with the sentiment behind it as well. If not, then you must be either very blessed or very lucky — blessed with an incredibly attentive partner, or with very few desires. In either case, you have good reason to be thankful!

Timeouts: Not just for kids anymore

Most adults are familiar with the idea of the timeout. You give a child a timeout when they get too pushy, too loud, or too angry. Ask a parent how a timeout is helpful and he or she might say, “I give my child a timeout so he/she can cool down. Kids listen and behave better when they’ve had a chance to cool off.” Why would adults be any different? Adults, as much as children, get a bit out of line when they get upset. When adults get angry, they cross lines, they say things they don’t mean, or worse, they say things they do mean and can’t take back. Adults can use timeouts just as much as children can. But as opposed to children, adults don’t have anyone to give them a timeout when they might need one.

The pregnancy from hell!

What do you do when you have the thing you want the most and you should be happy but you are miserable? How do you respond when everyone tells you that you “must be so happy!” and you really just want to lie in your bed with the blinds closed?  You know….those moments that you sit there and think, “I can’t wait for this to be over!”

Coming out of a straight marriage

Do you remember being a child and jumping into the deep end of the pool for the first time?  You were probably not sure what would happen, whether you would sink or swim.   Could you be brave enough to take the leap, even though you weren’t sure it was the right thing for you to do?  For many, first jumps are to be celebrated…a perfect cannonball, a quick resurface and a dog paddle to the edge to try it again.  However, there are those that jump in and sink a little too low, take in water, feel pressure and the fear of not being able to breathe. The latter is what it feels like when you are in a life situation where you are confused, feel internally trapped and needing escape.