My dog is in training to be a therapy dog. Marcel is a natural- he’s gentle, sweet, and at 11lbs, he was bred to be a lap dog. Though I’ve only brought him to the office with me for a few weeks now, clients immediately notice when he isn’t there and ask with notable disappointment, “Where’s Marcel?” I don’t take it personally, rather, I understand.
To Thine Own Self Be True
I’m a social introvert. That may seem like an oxymoron, but it’s not. I love alone time, I love people time, and I need both. Introversion is not synonymous with timidity or keeping to oneself, as popular culture often views it. Rather, people who are introverted tend to turn inward and focus on internal thoughts and feelings to re-energize and come back to their center. Their extroverted counterparts, on the other hand, tend to seek out external stimulation to re-energize and engage. Case in point: the next time you are at a holiday party or work event, take note of the people who actively mingle versus the small groups of two or three people chatting in a quiet corner of the room. Extroverts and introverts, respectively!
How dare you?
Moments of taking offense are moments when I am highly affected by the way I’m treated — when I don’t like the way someone else does something, says something, handles something, responds to something, and I don’t feel respected in the process. In those moments I take offense. I see an opportunity to claim my right to be… well, righteous (or perhaps self-righteous).
Listen like a waiter
A waiter can be a great model for listening during a conflict. A good waiter puts aside his or her own needs and desires and turns their attention to you, even helping you figure out what you really want. On the other hand, in a conflict we feel attacked and so prefer the role of lawyer instead. Reactivity – the emotional/mental state of being in a fight – pushes us to respond from expectations that our own needs will be dismissed, ignored and discounted.
Stop… No, really. STOP!
We all have conflicts, and the closer the person, the more intense the conflict. In fact it’s in our closest relationships, with husbands, wives, and children, that our conflicts can become pretty painful fights. At their worst, those fights repeat over and over again in a pattern that becomes a nasty fight cycle. Couples often come to me when they’re stuck at this point. They want to change but it’s really hard at this point for them to do it on their own.
Storytelling
Storytelling is an ancient art. Once upon a time, humans relied on the spoken word to pass down information about origins, about beliefs and cultural identity. Nowadays, we have books, e-readers, podcasts, live theatre, social media, scrapbooking, television, documentaries, newspapers, magazines, all dedicated to telling stories. Some are “true” and some are “fiction” and most are comprised of a little of both.