The hurricane, storm, cyclone (as our cell phone alert informs us) changed our plans for the 4th of July celebration. The city even moved the fireworks to the night before. Now, we are left with what do we do now? For some of us who has friends or family in the house, we at least have company, for those who were planning to head down to the Boston Esplanade, we now need to change our plans. The feelings of disappointment, annoyance and frustration set in. However, a feeling that we rarely think about is BOREDOM. How many TV shows can you catch up on On Demand, or the feeling that we really should be doing something else? We move from one task to another, without finishing the last thing because we feel bored doing something.
“My problem is not that serious!” The reality of alcohol related disorders
I have had various patients come to my practice wondering about their alcohol intake, how far from “normal” it is, and how close to “alcoholism” has it become. They fear the idea of becoming an alcoholic, often recognizing the illness by having lived with a family member, and other times simply fearing the idea of losing control. This fear has led to avoidance, and more often than not, a minimization of the effects of alcohol on that person’s life. The questioning itself is evidence of concern, and though most times patients provide the many reasons why their “problem is not that serious!”, there is often a sense of vagueness left in the room, a feeling of unfinished business, allowing for further exploration of the motivation for remaining the same or eliciting change.
Relationship life support: When is enough, enough?
In the fall, I attended a conference on couples therapy where I heard a speaker wonder if he, as a couples therapist, helped a couple stay together in a relationship that should have ended? It’s a good question. I wonder about that from time to time as well, but I have a hard time thinking of a moment when I would tell a couple that they should do anything. It feels heavy-handed to me.
What is your relationship job description?
We work hard to get the job. We interview as best we can. We get the job. But, how often do we really get a good job description. I am talking about the job of partner, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, husband, wife. More people sit in my office and say things like “S/he is just never happy…no matter what I do!” or “S/he keeps pushing me away and I don’t know why!”
What type of leader are you?
We are all leaders – in our own way. Whether we are at work, with our friends or family or in a social organization, we are all leaders. We may not be the stand in the front of the room and yell a rallying cry kind of leader, but we all influence others and leave an impact on those around us. What kind of leader are you?
Fired, failure and fear
This last winter I was fired from a job for the first time in my life. Although I thought of myself as very resilient when it comes to going through difficult situations, I had a really hard time. Many people who have ever been let go would probably understand that it takes a serious toll on your ego. If you have ever experienced being fired, then you probably have experienced such a drop in your self-confidence.