Great relationships are based on an exchange of energy and investment. Learn how Social Exchange can help you grow into a relationship centered life…
The Power of Not Knowing
One of the more common experiences I have is watching someone struggle with the pressure to always have an answer or response in a high value discussion. It can be so disconcerting when someone is asking our opinion, looking for our agreement, or an explanation and we feel we cannot give it…
The Upside-down Triangle
So many people come to me overwhelmed with the stress of life, competing responsibilities, losing intimacy and erotic connection due to the complexity of life. Parenting children, work, managing finances, extended family, having a meaningful social life, getting to the gym, and so on and so on and…
The Arc of Sexuality During Family Building
In this exciting age where families look different and are being built by all types of people, the ways to parenthood are many. For LGBTQ+ folx, there are options for fertility preservation, adoption, foster care, Big Brother/Big Sister, co-parenting…
The Work Of a Relationship: Consistent, Persistent, Insistent
Getting what we want, what we feel we deserve, and what we hope for often feels out of reach and inconceivable. This is can be particularly daunting when we consider intimate and loving relationships. In my years working as a sex and relationship therapist, people have shared with me how they struggle to find the right relationship, or if they are in a good relationship, how to dig deeper and get their needs met.
Why We Yell
What is yelling? When a partner denies that they yell, I wonder if they know what they sound like. I think there are two distinct types of yelling. The first, is the basic and popular raised voice yelling. It often starts at our toes and rolls up our core until it comes out of our mouths as a strong bellowing exhortation of increased volume, often accompanied by words that would offend us if they were spoken to us. The other type of yelling is more complex. It is tight and constricted. It starts in our throat. It is not loud and bellowing. The volume is not out of range. However, it is the tone – sharp, clipped, judgmental, and cuts like a knife. It feels like yelling to the recipient.